Thursday, February 4, 2010

My Beautiful Baby in the Hospital

Though I have thoroughly documented Hayden's hospital stay on Facebook, our blog is more of our family journal so I wanted to make sure and document it here as well.

Our precious Carter got sick last week around Wed. and probably starting around Saturday Hayden and I came down with it, too. On Sunday, she started not eating as well. Monday morning she ate at 6:30am and then refused to eat after that. She started acting very sluggish (she didn't wake up after 6:30 until about 1pm). She looked as white as a ghost. I kept calling Matt, telling him that I thought I should take her into the ER. But since I had already made a 2:30 dr appointment Matt kept telling me that I could wait. I should have known better. My whole being was telling me to take her in. The only thing that was holding me back was that she wasn't running a fever.

Finally, 2:30 rolled around and I took her into the Pediatrician's office. The nurse practitioner walked in took a look at her, listened to her lungs, and ran out the door to get the doctor. They checked her oxygen level and then the nurse practitioner looked at me and said they were calling an ambulance. I broke down and that point and just started crying. The Children's Hospital is only a few blocks away and I asked if I could just drive her there since my car was right there and I could take her right away. By this point they had put Hayden on oxygen and they told me that if they took her off of it long enough for me to drive her the few blocks she may not make it. They explained to me that a baby has a high reserve but once she has used up that reserve she gets so tired that she gives up and no longer wants to breath. So essentially she goes to sleep and never wakes up. That was where my precious Hayden was at. She had worked too hard and too long and was ready to give up.

It was so surreal driving in the ambulance with my little baby. I couldn't decide if I wanted to break down crying or if I should stay in the state of shock that I was in. Once we got to the ER we went straight to a room to start examination on her, but then we were moved to the trauma unit so they could keep a closer eye on her. In the Trauma unit the nurses and doctors aren't stretched as thin as far as their patient load is concerned. We had our wonderful home teacher Tannon come and help Matt give Hayden a blessing. (Matt met us at the Pediatrician's office right as Hayden and I were about to get on the ambulance so that he could get Carter and meet us at the hospital). After that, Matt took Carter home to get him to bed. I thought I was strong enough to be there on my own, but my awesome friend Marie came and she gave me lots of strength that I didn't know I needed.

Hayden in the Trauma Unit hooked up to all her wires and tubes.

This was the first time that Hayden looked somewhat peaceful.

At this point, Hayden was transferred to the PICU. In the transfer Hayden kind of crashed and she needed lots of attention once we got there. Her crib was surrounded so I had to stand in the background. But she had a nurse who was holding her head in her hand and looking straight in her eyes and singing to her. Hayden just fixated on this nurse and gathered all the strength she could from this angel lady. As her mom, my heart has gratitude a million times over for this nurse. I get teary-eyed every time I think of her. After Hayden settled down Marie left. Then Hayden had another scary episode. There was enough room around her crib that I could just hold on to her foot and I just stood there and cried while the doctors and nurses worked on her. I realized then, how much I had relied on Marie just being there with me.

The next morning (Tues, 2-2)when the doctors rounded and had looked at her chest x-rays and listened to her lungs, they diagnosed her with double pneumonia and bronchiolitis. The doctor told us that because she sounded and looked so bad that we should expect her to get worse before she got better and that there would be lots of ups and downs. There has definitely been lots of ups and downs, but thanks to all the prayers that were said on our behalf I don't think she ever spiraled down much worse than where she began.

Last night (Wed. 2-3) Bonnie and I came in to see her (I had gone home earlier so I could shower) and her eyes were filled with so much pain.

I was holding her and she was looking up at me with her pain-filled eyes pleading me to help her feel better. I felt so helpless and heartbroken.

That night I had gone home to get a good night sleep and Matt stayed at the hospital. When we talked before we went to bed, he said that he had found a double ear infection on her. It was so bad that she had puss draining out of her ear. I truly think he was inspired because everyone else just thought she was in pain because of her pneumonia. The fact that she has an ear infection is a puzzle for a couple reasons:

1. If she had an ear infection before she came in, why did her heavy duty antibiotics she was on not kick it?
2. How could she have developed that ear infection if she was on these antibiotics?
3. She is too young for ear infections. It is very rare for babies younger than 3 months to even get an ear infection.

So the ENT Dr just came and suctioned all the drainage out and it was A LOT! Her ear drum is ruptured and both ears are infected. They have her on ear drops and she looks so much better. I think that is the difference between her pain filled eyes and her eyes in the picture below (which is today after having ear drops all night long).

So when they suctioned her, it was the most upset moment she has had yet. I don't know if it has been the most painful thing she has gone through, because there has been some pretty painful stuff, but she finally has enough strength to really throw a fit. She got so upset that her heart rate hit 242. To put that in perspective, they want her heart rate to be in the 150s, which it's never been that low since we have been here. The ENT attending just came and said that she will not get tubes right now (that was a possibility earlier) but that because she is so young with bad ear infections she might be prone to ear infections and to be prepared to get tubes later. Also, our PICU doctor said that since she got ear infections so young it could just show that she is prone to infection and might have an immune deficincy. Only time will tell, so I am not going to worry about that now.

So as of right now, she is off her clear liquid only diet and is drinking breast milk from a bottle. Her heart rate is still high. But her oxygen that she is getting keeps decreasing. I wouldn't be surprised to see it go back up again, because she has dipped low a few times. Her coloring is still pale, but improving (this is another thing that fluctuates). Her eyes were looking really good for most of the day, but are now starting to look a little pain-filled again. She is doing awesome, but still has a lot going on in her tiny little body and still a ways to go.

She is our precious little girl and we love her so much. Thanks to everyone for your prayers. We have hundreds of people praying for her all over the country. She is on the prayer roll at several temples all over the country, too. We know that it is all because of these prayers that she has improved so much! We have felt the power of prayer and are grateful to each one of you!

Hayden in her PICU bed.

The view out our window. This is a great view to get an idea of our city Pittsburgh. The large building in the back is Matt's hospital that he works at.

More of our view.

My baby and me.

Hayden when she was looking her best yet earlier today. Sadly, she hasn't been able to stay so perky and happy.


Heitmann Family said...

Oh Amber, bless her little heart!! I feel so bad for her and you!! I hope with all my heart that she get better really soon. You guys are in our prayers.

Justin, Kira and Evan said...

seriously so scary Amber!!!

Aubrey said...

I don't know how you have the strength to relive this in writing it down. You are a strong woman. I love you so much and am so happy Hayden is doing better. We will continue to pray for all of you!!!!!
This is going to post on Aubrey's account, I just don't want to switch it over or I will lose my comment.


Amanda and Paul said...

I am so sorry for you guys and sweet Hayden. That is exactly what we were in the ER for on Christmas day with Andrew and it was so scary... But I can't even imagine how scary it must be for you guys since Hayden is so much younger and smaller and obviously has it a lot worse than Andrew did. I hope she continues to get better. What a trooper, that poor girl is. She is BEAUTIFUL!

Becky T said...

Amber, wow. I don't even know what to say. I have obviously been following your facebook updates, but getting the entire story just blows me away. I had no idea it was THAT scary, ya know. I am so glad she was taken care of by wonderful doctors. And I'm so glad you wrote it all down. And I agree with the comment above--you are such a strong woman. You really are, Amber! We love you guys to pieces and hope all continues to go well!

Sarah Keith said...

Amber,I am praying for you so much! You are an amazing woman and I am so sorry that your little one has to go through this. I love you and will just continue to pray for you!

James & Stephie Lynne Purcell said...

Amber- James and I have been thinking of and praying for your beautiful little girl. She has some gumption! I can't even imagine how scary that is for you. Keep being so strong- we will keep sending prayers your way!

Alison said...

Oh my gosh, I'm bawling! As a mother, you can't imagine that kind of scare. I am so glad she is doing better, but WOW! I'm so glad you had lots of loved ones around to help and give you strength. Please give us an update soon! Our prayers are with you, too.