She's so "Boo-ti-ful"

I am so in love with this girl. She takes my breath away. I remember hearing people say that about their own babies when I had Carter and I never believed them. Since then, after talking to a friend I realized I had postpartum depression after Carter and it took me about 6 months to truly love my child. I feel so sad that I missed out enjoying this infant time with him, but it makes me appreciate this time with Hayden SO MUCH MORE! And even better than that Carter and I get to experience it together and fall in love with her together every day. Carter tells her several times a day that she is so "boo-ti-ful." And I agree.



Carter is at the age where he is saying the funniest things. I am guessing someone recently must have told him that he has a lot of energy because right before I took the video above he was running around and then told me that he has a lot of energy (and he does!!).

My friend Jess made Hayden these beautiful bracelets when she was born. I have loved them!

Snug as a bug in a rug.
Daddy bundled up Hayden to take her and Carter out back to play ball.

Hayden has just found her hands and they have developed a love affair:

This was on Tuesday, the day we were in and out of the ER. I was running around the house trying to get their stuff so we could go and Hayden was crying in her swing. Next thing I knew Carter was singing to her and she stopped crying. At first the song was slow and sweet, but quickly it turned into this:

Carter can be such a sweet boy, even when it is his own kind of sweetness. Having two kids is so incredibly awesome! We have our struggles, but my heart has doubled in size since it has doubled in love.

ICU Anonymous

Hello, my name is Hayden and I am addicted to the ICU. I am only 3 months old and have been in the ICU 3 times already.

This is me in the NICU right after I was born.

Here I am at 5 1/2 weeks in the PICU. This time around I really took my mom for a ride, literally. We had to take an ambulance from my pediatricians office because I was doing so bad. I had Double Pneumonia with RSV Bronchiolitis and a double ear infection with a ruptured ear drum. Mom didn't know I had RSV at this point because all my tests came back negative, but now that we are back here they told her that on my charts they listed me as RSV since I had all the symptoms.

Which brings me to now, 2 months later, here I am back in the PICU with RSV Bronchiolitis.

The Story :

Sunday night Matt and I were noticing that Hayden's cold (the first one since her last stay in the PICU) was starting to take a turn. We decided given her history that we would call her Ped. office the next morning. So I took Hayden in Monday morning and the dr (not our reg. dr. that we see and love) who saw us pretty much wrote me off as an over-protective parent and sent us home. Throughout the day Hayden continued to worsen. Through the night she started to run a fever, we were giving her breathing treatments and Matt stayed up with her for most of the night. Tuesday morning she was still showing signs of respiratory distress so I called the drs again. They told me to go to the ER. We went to the ER and the checked her out and said there wasn't anything they could do for us even though she was showing signs of respiratory distress. I was getting frustrated because she was doing everything that the PICU warned me about to take her to the ER. So off we went. And of course shortly after we got home she started to worsen. I was so confused and didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go back to the ER for them to turn us away again. I called the drs AGAIN (they all know Hayden and I quite well by this point, between the ambulance ride and the phone calls and visits) and they tell me again to go to the ER. I asked if I could come to them first to check her oxygen saturation levels, but they said NO that will take too much time she needs to get to the ER. I am an emotional mess at this point. I drop Carter off at my friends and we head to the ER. I get us in the waiting room, look down at her, and she is doing about the same as she was the last time. I knew they would just turn us away again. So after lots of tears and a phone call to Matt we decided not to pay another $75 just to be sent back home. I knew the road Hayden was on so I told the front desk lady I would see her in a couple hours when Hayden would be bad enough they would have to do something. Hours later she was doing horrible again. I called the urgent care to see if they would do anything for me and they said take her to the ER. I wanted to yell out, "But they won't do anything for her there!" Finally, Hayden stopped eating and was showing signs of being in the danger zone of not breathing and I knew the ER would HAVE TO do something so we were off again. I was getting so mad because after last time I promised her I would never let her get to the point she was at before. And she wasn't quite there yet, but too close for my comfort .

This time the ER responded to her right away, it doesn't hurt that she had a fever of 104. She was modeled and dehydrated and looking in real bad shape. Several of the doctors commended Matt and I for staying strong and bringing her back in. I was glad they were saying that but at the same time I wanted to yell at them and say, "But look at the shape she has to be in for you guys to take us seriously!" Right away they knew she would be admitted and started going to work on her. That night was very rough. We started on a regular floor but she was doing badly enough that we had doctors in and out all night long because they were worried about her breathing. They next morning she was smiling and cooing. They said they wanted to keep us at least on more night. I thought we will for sure be going home the next day (which is now today). I thank my Heavenly Father that they did not send us home. Last night we crashed again and they rushed her up to the PICU to get her on Hi-Flo oxygen. I did not realize it was as serious of a situation as it was until the dr who was with her rounded this morning and told about what horrible shape she was in and how "scared" (his word) he was for her. I am so grateful for those doctors and nurses who worked with her and kept her stabilized. They told me that she had been working too hard for too long and was too worn out. (Sound familiar?!) I am confused at how and why they allowed her to get to this point while she was in the hospital, but she is where she needs to be now and on oxygen now so that is what matters.

Hayden's status at this point is good. But with bronchiolitis it is a constant up and down. She has a pattern of doing well in the mornings and getting bad by the late afternoon/ evening. PICU wants her here at least through the night and then will re-evaluate.

Warning: do not keep reading if you do not want to read some Mommy bragging. This morning when her team of drs rounded on her, they were all loving on her and saying how cute she was. After they moved on, the attending dr came back and said that they had decided that Hayden beat out bed #27 as the cutest baby in the PICU. And since then we have had staff in and out of the room just to look at and play with Hayden.

Here's a video of my baby girl earlier today:

Once again I can't thank our friends and family enough for all the love, prayers and support. I especially want to thank those who have and will take Carter for so many hours to watch and care for him. We could never make it through all the whirlwinds of life without our loved ones all around us!

Hayden's first Photo Shoot (Finally!!)

January 1, 2010

Hayden was 1 1/2 weeks old

My friend Jess, who is extremely talented, took pictures of Hayden for our baby gift from her (What an awesome gift, right!?). I am not posting them until now because our CD drive on our computer decided to give up the ghost and all of Hayden's pics were on a CD. But I have them now and am so excited to post them. THANKS JESS!!

Our Three Year Old

Since Carter's birthday is 4 days earlier than Hayden's, we decided to get his 3 yr-old pictures done at the same time.

Our Family

Big Brother and Baby Sister

Mom and Dad with Baby Hayden

Hayden's Birth Announcement

Pony Tails, Go Fish, and Finger Tricks

First Pony Tail

This is Hayden's first pony tail. You can't see it too well, but there is a little pony at the top with curly hair. I loved showing off the pony. She looked so cute!

Go Fish

Currently, Go Fish is Carter's favorite game. Yes, something finally beat out Candyland.

In this first video it starts out with Carter playing Go Fish then shows Matt's latest thing he has been teaching our child, "Pull my Finger." Why oh why does Carter need to learn that trick at home? There will be plenty of boys at school that would love to teach him that. But no, now Carter will be the one to teach all the other boys. Oh Daddy!

And the Legacy continues...



Though I am disturbed that we are teaching our child such things, I can't help but laugh when Carter wonders, "Why it didn't make me tooted, Dad?"

On to better things... Like one of our last Family Home Evenings we had. This is Carter singing to our song we sang with our lesson. We were talking about being grateful for our bodies so we sang, "If You're Happy and You Know It" because those are all actions we can do because we have bodies. Hayden got in on the act, too.



Carter loves being a Big Brother. This is a scene from our house several times a day:

Happy Birthday Mom!

Today on the Ides of March is my Mother's Birthday and possibly to her dismay I want to dedicate this whole post to her and her incredible qualities.

First off, she is great with her grandchildren. After I gave birth to Hayden my mom came out to be with us for a whole 10 days!! This was a huge sacrifice from her because she has a job and two kids still living at home along with my Dad. But she never made an issue of that. While she was here she helped so much with the kids. She read SO SO SO many books to Carter. His favorite were the books about Bats (he has a love/hate relationship with bats). Carter still tells me things that he learned about bats from those books. She also did lots of puzzles and worked on ABCs, etc. And Hayden was facinated by Mom from day 1. She hadn't reacted to anyone the way that she had with my Mom. She started to smile and respond, it was so fun to see and I was so glad Mom was here to be a part of it. (see video below to see her interact with the kids). Also, Mom thanks for all the cleaning and wonderful meals.

My Mom is also a real go-getter. I like to think that I developed this quality from her. Family vacations during the summer time were always a big deal to her. She seemed to always start planning a year in advance and by February she had our summers planned out to a T. My siblings and I are very close and have such love for one another and I know it is in big part thanks to these great vacations Mom spent so many hours planning. And don't get me wrong, they weren't big, fancy vacations. A lot of them were in Utah taking advatage of the mountains, lakes and National Parks of the region. But we spent quality time together and that is what matters (plus we had a ton of fun).

Mom is strong in the Gospel. There was never a moment in my life where I wondered whether or not my Mom had a testimony of our Savior. Something that has always lasted in my mind was her telling me in times when I have questioned whether things were right or wrong. She always said why err in being close to the fence. There is always a safe side and that is where she will be at all times. And that is so true. I can't think of one time that she hasn't "held fast" to her beliefs. Unless you count cursing in the middle of Lake Powell so everyone in a 2 mile radius could hear because the stove blew up on her.

For these qualities and so many more, I love you Mom! Happy Birthday!

Big Smiles!

This little girl has seriously stolen my heart!! I never could have dreamed it would be possible to hold so much love in my heart as I have for my two babies. I am one of the luckiest girls in the world to have my incredible husband Matt and my two beautiful children.

I know I have said it before, but I am LOVING these blue eyes!!!

Wink, wink

Check out her blue eyes in this video:

Hayden's Baby Blessing

March 7, 2010

Yesterday we blessed our sweet baby Hayden! For those of you not familiar with a baby blessing here is an explanation written by Matt: The blessing of children is something that is customary in our church for infants. The blessing is analogous to some other Christian churches practice of baptizing or christening infants, however our baptisms occur typically around age 8 for children and anytime in adulthood for converts. Those participating in the blessing circle are ordained holders of the priesthood and I will be performing the act of the blessing itself.

We had a beautiful day afterwards filled with family (Gma Bonnie and Gpa Jay), friends and yummy food. I am so grateful for this beautiful little girl and a wonderful husband worthy to give her this blessing.
Hayden asleep on Grandma at church after her special blessing. She is our little beauty!!

The Blessing Weekend

Gma Bon came out on Thursday to help me prepare for the blessing and Gpa Jay came out Friday night. Here are some pictures of our time together:

Check out those BLUE eyes!! I might get my wish of a blue-eyed baby after all!!

Can I just say... OH MY GOSH!!

We went bowling again and again Carter LOVED it!!

The weather finally got nice enough that we could take a little stroll outside. Hayden was quite amazed by the outdoors but then decided sleeping was even cooler.

Gma and Gpa playing Go Fish with Carter and Daddy watching the BYU basketball game.